Without You - Chapter 8: Hideaway

Insects ping

Against the walls

They want in

One and all

No ventilation

No risk of penetration

Locked

Inside this metal box

Please

Please

Let me be

Just go away

Go away

I say

Fluorescent lights

Cast a ruddy hue

Over this cramped space

Loaded guns beckon me

What’s the harm?

Contaminated

You are already

Take one

Pull the trigger

Truly there is nothing

Left to live for

Nothing

I say

But this

I hold up

The tiny orb

Stirring the ashes within

The castle sparkles

And quickly reels me in

Sadness fades

Ever a reminder

Always

There are better days

The banging on the door

Intensifies

Like popcorn

Electrified

A fist pounds

The titanium door

That wayward soul

Back for more

Joining their foolish plea

But you will not get in

Even if there is no air

Left to breathe

Steel shelves

Married to metal walls

Floor to ceiling

A perfect cage

Books overflow their partitions

Printouts held together

By rusty staples

Tucked into cracks

Wherever space allows

Yearning to reveal

Their secrets

Etched onto yellowed pulp

Though damaged

I can still comprehend

Their disdain

Perhaps they can shed light

On how we went astray

I grab a stack

Promptly drop them

To the floor

Like a child

Grabbing wet fish

Clumsy

Bumbling

It’s happening more and more

I lean over

Fall to my knees

It’s easier this way

I tell myself

My body does not move

As it should

In truth

I can barely feel a thing

Amusing

The pain you wish for

As it releases

Its grip from you

I scoop up a folder

Spill the contents inside

Dozens of pictures

Paper the floor

I paw at them

Brush them aside

Familiar faces all

Can it be

I know them

Or is it just another

Fading wart of memory

I stumble across one

I cannot mistake

Bringing chills

To this icy frame

I pick it up

Stare into her

My God

How is it

I was here