Bubblegum Princess: Pinkberry Patch - Chapter 3: No Problem At All

The strange shade of her bubblegum hair made Alyssa increasingly uncomfortable. Typically, she chewed on something when she felt nervous: gum, fingernails, even the ends of her hair. Without thinking, she grabbed another piece of bubblegum and threw it in her mouth. “What am I doing?” She started to spit it out, but the pink pearl was cool and sweet and seemed to calm her nerves.

“I can’t keep doing this. I should throw away the rest of the pack right now,” she told herself, but it all seemed a tad ridiculous. Besides, who had ever heard of a piece of bubblegum changing one’s hair? “Absurd.” She shook her head at the ridiculous notion. There had to be another explanation for this.

She opened her locker door, grabbed her coat, and jumped back. Inside, a gray mouse nibbled on half of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. “Good morning, your highness.” The rodent bowed. “I didn’t realize this was yours. Forgive me, my queen.”

“Ahh!” Alyssa slammed the door shut.

Edna Ginny, the school counselor, heard her screams and walked briskly around the corner. “Is everything all right? What seems to be the problem?”

Suddenly a pair of pink, translucent wings sprung out of Alyssa’s back. “No problem. No problem at all.” She threw on her coat.

“Wow, you look like a fairy princess.” Mrs. Ginny adjusted her glasses. “Is what you’re wearing for Halloween? It’s only September, you know.”

“Huh?” As Alyssa zipped up her coat, she noticed her sparkling dress. It was pink and glittery and just a bit short. It felt as if she were walking around in her nighty. Involuntarily, she swallowed her gum.

“Oh no, not another piece!” Alyssa gasped. At this rate, she wouldn’t need lunch or dinner. She tucked her wings in her coat and finished zipping it up. “Well, look at the time. I think mom’s waiting for me outside.” Alyssa hurried out of the locker room.

“I’m here if you want to talk,” Mrs. Ginny shouted as Alyssa exited.

Suddenly the little girl’s wings popped out of her coat and began beating rapidly. In the blink of an eye, Alyssa was out the door and down the hallway in a trail of sparkling dust. Before she knew it, she was at the school entrance.

Everything was a blur. “Where’s my coat?” She looked around. Fortunately, she still had her backpack, but again felt like she were standing around in her underwear. Then there was the minor inconvenience of those wings. She reached for another piece of bubblegum and stopped herself. “Not a stick more!” She shook her head defiantly.

Abruptly, something came thundering down the hall. A thousand squeaks filled the corridor, followed by the rumble of tiny feet. An army of mice came from every corner of the school to greet her. “Hail, my beloved queen!” they shouted.

“Eek!” Alyssa was out the door in a flash. She gazed down as the dark horde of mice poured out of the building. The air smelled different now: crisp and clean, allowing her thoughts to be more precise. It took a few moments before she realized that she was gliding high above the school on her new wings.

“If I can fly by the aid of a stick of gum, anything’s possible.” She surged forward on a whim. “Anything’s possible!”

The Italian Version of Aveline is Now Available!

The Italian Version of Aveline is now available on Kobo, Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Smashwords!

La piccola Aveline non ha idea di che cosa la aspetta quando si sveglia una mattina di Ottobre. Tutto d’un tratto si ritrova a parlare con delle fate e a guardare il suo cagnolino Milo che balla al ritmo di musica. Ovviamente, nulla e’ mai come sembra quando si tratta di fate, e molte sorprese attendono Aveline e i suoi cari. 

Aveline & The Great Pumpkin Bash - Chapter 3: Emerge

Chapter 3: Emerge

Instinctively Aveline veered aside just as the spell wore off, sending the behemoth shooting past her in a fiery blur. The longer she lingered in the chasm, the more obvious it became that she could not outwing the wicked worm, and that her only hope of survival was through the aid of magic and any clever designs that she could devise.  But dragons were clever creatures too, and full of magic.

“How did you do that?” The dragon roared, its ravenous hunger unfulfilled.

“The name’s Aveline: fairy princess, Wishbringer and junior architect of the threads of time.” She bowed. She particularly like the word ‘architect.’ It made her feel big inside.

“You overestimate your ability.” The dragon’s eyes blazed.

“I think not. Now stop right there, Mr. Dragon.” Aveline raised her hand. Again he complied, freezing in place as he whipped his spiky tail. “I’m headed to the pumpkin festival. Would you mind pointing out the way?”

Suddenly her legs snapped together, tighter and tighter as if they were being wrapped in bubblegum. She gazed down in horror as the sticky spindle bound her legs together and surged past her waist. Though Aveline was blinded by the beast’s fiery eyes and ghostly webbing, she could still make out the ugly spider clinging to the dragon’s underside like a wart. Somehow it was impervious to her time spell.

And as the arachnid sprung for her, the little girl discovered a new magic word in her arsenal. “Aside!” she yelled, sending the spider and its webbing falling away harmlessly.

But the insect provided the distraction that the dragon needed. Aveline barely evaded the dragon’s tail as it sliced the air before her. She shot upwards, hoping to find a ceiling to the endless void. “Abracadabra! Err…hocus pocus!” she blurted out, but those were the feeble words of fantasy. “Open sesame!” she called. Didn’t she see that once in a Bugs Bunny cartoon? Finally, she thought back to the stories that her mother had told her. ‘Stop’ and ‘aside’ were featured prominently in those tales. Yet there was another she had not uttered. “Illuminate!” she screamed.

A ring of light severed the darkness above her.

“Did you hear that?” came a familiar voice.

“Hear what, dear?” came another.

“It sounded like Aveline.”

The voices became louder, and giggles, more frequent.

And as the dragon closed in, one last word escaped her. “Emerge.”

Aveline & The Great Pumpkin Bash - Chapter 2: Abomination

Chapter 2: Abomination

At first, she mistook his rasp for the snickering of little girls just a short distance away. But strange sounds swirled through the abomination’s rotting lungs, its exhalation culminating with a mangled whistle.

Aveline surged forward, not questioning the wings sprouting from her back. She didn’t have the slightest notion how large they were or at what velocity she was flying. All she knew was that she needed to get out of there fast, even if it meant delving deeper into the void. “Light as a feather-”

“Hasten thy demise!” The creature roared.

The little girl shot through the chasm with renewed vigor. “Please mother, deliver me from this pit of ruin.”

“Only in ruin shall you find her. Now that I have come for you, your reunion is all but certain.” The beast’s putrid stench filled her nostrils.

His booming voice echoed through her, striking a familiar cord. “I know you. You were in my backyard with the fairies just a short while ago.”

“Are you certain of that?”

Though she did not see him through the dense thicket in her backyard, she could feel his presence. On the journey over he slipped in behind her, waiting patiently for his opportunity when she swept past the gates of the netherfaery.

His glowing eyes snapped open before her, dull and glassy like chunks of dusty ice. “There is no sense running any longer. Accept your fate as any primitive should.” Blue fire erupted from his mouth, causing his teeth to glow as well.  Rows and rows of hideous teeth snapped down at her, each about the size of her abbreviated form.

“Anabelle, Anaia, Amorina!” she cried, swerving aside at the last instant.

“They cannot help you here.” The monster unleashed its volcanic breath again, singeing Aveline’s wings.

It was a dragon, here in the darkness with her! And it wasn’t a cute little pet dragon as found in children’s books, but a demon born of nightmares.

“Mommy….daddy…please!” She knifed through the air.

“Yesss…cry for mommy and daddy…” The dragon illuminated the void with its white-hot breath. Before Aveline knew it, the winged serpent was on top of her.

As he snapped down, the little girl cried out, “No, stop!” And suddenly all was still in that dark, dank place. “Stop,” she repeated, and turned to face the beast. Though its jaws were extended and fiery breath gushing from its mouth, the dragon was held there, suspended in time. “You did what I asked of you,” Aveline gasped.

Sneak Peek: Aveline & The Great Pumpkin Bash

Chapter 1: Void

“I feel different this time,” Aveline said as a spider tingle raced up her spine. She waited for a response, and when none came, tried to adjust her eyes to the void around her. “Mommy, are you there?” Her lips trembled, the warmth of her mother’s embrace now a distant memory. “Arby?” she called, knowing that addressing her father by his first name would elicit an immediate rebuke.

Still there was nothing in this cold, dark place.

Just a moment ago she had been in her kitchen, sketching a picture of her lovely family. At first, she thought that her crayons were enchanted, but when her mother Aeryn told her about the magic teeming inside her, she knew that she had to find out more about the fairy realms that she was tied to. The fairies in her backyard had offered an invitation of sorts, to a magic festival located in the heart of a golden field where the pumpkins grew to be the size of boulders. Now that was something that she just had to see!

A warm draft swept over her, making her tremble anew. The dark space around her smelled musty and old. “Light as a feather, carry me through,” she uttered. “Mom? Dad?” Her calls became more desperate.

Aveline needed to find them soon, especially mommy; otherwise, she might lose herself in the fairy worlds for a small eternity. She’d heard of such tales, from her mother no less, about fairies and time distortion and a little girl who had lost her way. If only she could remember the wisdom threaded in those words, she might spring herself from the void and navigate the tricky worlds of fae.

For a moment she heard it, then again: teeth chattering, followed by the scuttling of tiny feet. An odd stench filled her senses, like honey mixed with butternut squash and rotten broccoli. “Who’s there?” she said, realizing the depth of her error as soon as the words left her lips.

Aveline & the Great Pumpkin Patch is Coming Soon!

Coming Soon to Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Itunes & Kobo!

In Development: Neverling by S.E. Gordon

Cover Reveal for a Future Aveline Project

Artwork by Simone Gatterwe

Here's a cover that I put together for a future novelization of Aveline. When is it coming? Hopefully soon! ;D

Aveline is Now Available!

Buy It Now for your Amazon Kindle!

Little Aveline has no idea what to expect when she wakes up one October morning. Suddenly she finds herself talking to fairies and watching her dog Milo dancing to music. Of course, nothing's ever what it seems with fairies, and there are plenty of surprises in store for Aveline and her loved ones.

This book is approximately 3,000 words, and includes over 15 pieces of colorful artwork.

Sneak Peek: Braedyn Bunny and the Missing Eggs - Chapter 1: A Dream Away

“Braedyn Bunny, you’ve lost your way,” a voice faded in the wind.

“Who’s that?” A gray hare sat up and looked around the blue meadow.

“Is everything as it should be? Everything as it once was?” her sweet voice came again, closer with every word.

The bunny gazed at the rolling hills and pink sky in the distance. Silver castles mounted atop floating islands drifted in and out of a veil of clouds, purple water falling from their gates and transforming into butterflies.

“Anything amiss?” The voice whispered in his ear.

“Far too long I’ve lingered in the meadow’s embrace, never questioning the bed I lay on or the gentle breeze tickling my whiskers.” Braedyn took a deep breath. The air carried with it the scent of honeysuckles, as if he were lying in a bushel. “This world of slumber has cast its spell on me, hoping that I would not question its generous hospitality. What is this place?”

“Etherharp.” Her breath raised the hairs on the back of the bunny’s neck.

“And what is Etherharp?” He looked around, trying to catch sight of her.

“The world as you see it, told from within.” She darted from ear to ear.

“Wait a minute.” Braedyn tapped his foot. “I’ve heard of such places before…in faery tales.” He watched another kingdom disappear into the clouds. “Paninae, I believe it’s called, whispered to me in a dream. Does this mean anything to you?”

“Though she is dear to us, this is not she.” The voice replied. “Timara, Ylysse, Dewfall…all kingdoms of the cloud faery are they.”

“Cloud faeries? Good gracious, how did I end up here?” Braedyn hopped around, determined to catch a glimpse of his elusive host.

“All things are possible in the world of fae.” The faery finally revealed herself. A butterfly with pearl wings and dark spots flittered onto his nose. Her sable underside melted away, revealing frosty, unblemished skin. An ivory mane descended from her scalp, weaving itself into braids. Her spotted wings shed their guise, now transparent and sparkling. She grabbed a handful of her knotted tresses and tied them back in a bow. “Boo!” she snickered.

The bunny jumped back, not sure what to make of her. “Who are you?” he asked.

“What does your heart say?” The tiny faery captured him with her violet gaze.

“Y…Y’lia?” Braedyn mumbled.

“See? Your heart does not lie.” She smiled and kissed his chocolaty nose.

“My goodness, where did that come from?” The hare scratched his ear. “It was as if someone whispered it to me.”

“Like this?” another high-pitched voice whispered in his ear.

The bunny shot straight up in the air.

And Y’lia said:

You’ve tapped a vein

Tasted the melody

And refrain

Don’t be afraid

Floppy ears

This is simply just

The way of here

With wings and rhyme

You’ll soon find

That this happens

All the time

“Time? Good gracious, what time is it?” Braedyn asked.

“Does it really matter?” The stranger whispered in his ear again.

The hapless hare jumped back, and hid in the brush. “I’m sensing that it does.” He peeked between the blades of grass.

“Indeed, what time is it? I was beginning to wonder the very same thing.” An identical faery flittered over and embraced Y’lia, her long hair flowing past her knees. She was draped in a low neck mauve gown, cut from the same ruffled fabric as her kin.

“Two of you?” Braedyn eyed them curiously.

And she replied:

Where there is one

Always a score

Two or three

Many, many more

Y’lana

Is my name

Of course you knew that

All the same

What time is it?

Let me take a peek

Dear me

What time is it

That you seek?

“The hour, at very least. Even the day would be helpful,” said the hare.

“Mine or yours?” Y’lia asked.

“Your world or ours?” Y’lana added.

“Mine, of course.” Braedyn cautiously stepped out of the grass.

“Hmmm…I believe it’s a hare past a freckle.” Y’lana shot Y’lia a look and giggled.

Suddenly Braedyn Bunny realized what was missing from the illustrious setting. “Wait a minute. What happened to my eggs?” He scanned over the meadow.

“Eggs?” Y’lana looked at her nails. “I haven’t seen any eggs. Have you, Y’lia?”

“Not a one.” Y’lia failed to hide her smirk.

Although aware of their dastardly deed, Braedyn did not acknowledge their deception. “So how do I get back to my world?”

“Your world is always just a dream away,” Y’lia lit up.

“Now back to sleep, little hopper.” Y’lana flew over and sprinkled faery dust on him. “In the world of dreams all will be made right.”

The bunny’s face tightened. “Give them back.” He inhaled a lungful of faery dust and sneezed.

“Whatever do you mean?” Y’lana tried desperately to keep the smile from creeping onto her face.

“Where are they?” Braedyn hopped forward, but the faeries were gone. Suddenly blue weeds shot up all around him, whipping around his paws and neck and pulling him under. The bunny nibbled through the bitter roots and scurried away, only to be met by a swarm of butterflies. Round and round they flew, their silver wings sparkling like the sun. Entranced by the whirlwind of light, Braedyn felt a wave of sleepiness rush over him. He forgot all about the enchanted thicket until it seized him by the ears and buried him in its embrace.

Cover Art for Clarion's Final Act

The Sweetest Stalklings (Part I)

Peculiar. A word Queen Smira knew all too well, for she had a king made of celery. And surely she did not know what to expect when she discovered that she was carrying her first batch. How would they turn out? What would they look like? Would they have the silver stalk of their father, or the cruel brow of her siblings that fled the kingdom when they first laid eyes on their organic kin?

When the day finally arrived, Smira could not bear to look. Hopefully there would not be any complications, leaving her with a bevy of ill-tempered mixed greens, or dunderheads with sticks of celery for arms and legs. The very thought made her clasp her hands even tighter.

One by one they popped out, the sound of their raucous gabble bringing an instant sigh of relief. In all she bore three handsome goblings—bright, brazen and with the hideous hunger for which they are renowned.

“Never have I seen anything so precious,” Smira gushed. “I shall name thee Ñekkum, Yeka and Gagem.” She embraced the three goblings. “Thank you, your highness.”

Mouth agape, King Dillsing was not sure what to make of them. The three did not look a whit like him; goblins they were through and through. As weeks passed, he became victim to their foul play. They behaved like mischievous pets, snapping at his fingers, and soiling the throne every chance they got. But there was little point in arguing—they were his tyrannical tots, whether he liked it or not.

Walking soon led to running, which in turn led to the disappearance of many of his loyal subjects who frequented the hall. Goblins crave celery, and never seem to fill their bottomless paunches. King Dillsing knew that one day the troublesome trio would turn their appetite on him. He had little choice but to lock them in a distant part of the castle until they became more amiable; but his goblin bride would not be so receptive.

Each time Dillsing tried to bring up the matter, Smira cut him off. “Everything will be fine, you shall see. Why wait any longer? Let’s have another three,” she grinned.

Realizing that she would never agree, the king devised his own scheme to bring them into compliance. “Before our offspring grow a hair taller, there is something I must ask of you, my queen.”

“Anything, your highness.”

“Now that they are old enough for the journey, you must take our three stalklings to the weeping willow in the wetlands, and have them baptized by an imp named Tutis. All children go there to be registered in Hollawree,” said Dillsing.

“I’m busy today, dear. Would you mind taking them?” Smira asked.

“Only the one who has given birth can see the willow.” The king frowned. “If you wait too long, your vision will fade, and you will find yourself lost in the bog. It is best that you go now,” he insisted.

“Of course, my love.” The queen turned to the toddlers. “You heard the king, we must be off.”

“But I don’t want to go,” Yeka cried.

“Leave at once!” The king’s voice darkened.

The three goblins scattered behind Smira. Gagem poked his head out from under her white dress. “What’s the magic word?”

“Go,” he replied.

“Nope. Try again.” Ñekkum peeked over Smira’s shoulder.

“Now!” King Dillsing stood.

“Please…is that the word you seek? Let us hurry before we upset the king any further. See you upon the morrow, my love.” Smira blew him a kiss, and dragged the three brats behind her.

“Not if I have something to say about it,” the king mumbled to himself.

The Key of Neverhence - Chapter 1: Gibberish

© Claudia McKinney and Tiffany Mize-Carter

Book I: Charmed

Neverhence

One and all

Casting towards

Cheerful calls

Without a step

Without the fall

Travels commence

Neverhence

Chapter 1: Gibberish

The world raced by in all its fiery madness. I could see my epitaph now:

Here lies Yvan Frollingswyrth

That cranky old bastard

Who was foolish enough

To marry a cloud faery

And was never seen again

(If you only knew half of the story)

Through a tunnel of fire we bounded, our essence thundering across the world of Adura. My eyes burned, teeth chattered, and balls ached. Before I could curse the dragon whose magic sent us here, an explosion ripped through the spinning inferno.

I grabbed Ivy, and held her close as molten debris rained down on us. As we bathed in a hail of fire and brimstone, a wayward fragment shot into my mouth, and down my throat. Even if I could swallow fire, I did not want to see what it looked like coming out the other end, so I hacked as best I could, coughing my lungs inside out. To my surprise the sinking ember had gone down smoothly, as if I’d inhaled a firefly rather than charred ruin. But what would an insect be doing in the tunnel of fire? Aw, well. Perhaps I needed a little extra protein.

Before I could rub two brain cells together, we burst into the kingdom of Timara, landing at the edge of a floating meadow.

We had arrived.

Paradise at last.

Yeah, right.

Once I had my wits about me, I promptly kissed the ground, promising never to travel by magic again, especially that of a dragon. I rose, making sure all of my well-seasoned appendages were intact. With any luck, one might even work.

“So…what do you think?” Y’velina grinned, a snowy wisp of hair brushing across her cheek.

“Did the trip over fry your brain?” I adjusted my bifocals.

“I knew you’d like it,” she beamed.

I shook my head. Cloud faeries—thick-skulled as always.

I scanned over our new home, a towering oak that twisted into the clouds. In the distance, several floating islands drifted by, including a small patch with a hand-painted sign that read ‘This way to Holloway Springs.’ Although the tree was massive, it was also somewhat limp, like so many other things in my life.

“So you brought me all the way out here to live in a tree?” I balked.

“Not just any tree, a tree of life from the Faeries of the Underwood.”

“Next I suppose you’ll want me to swing from the vines and devour the commoners,” I said.

“Just the naughty ones.”

As our little tiff unfolded, a young faeling (or faery child for those as ignorant as I) scurried down from the tree. He winged over and stared at me, his mouth agape.

“What’s wrong, boy—crap your pants?”

He unleashed a tirade of gibberish, bouncing up and down as he spoke.

“What in the blazes are you babbling about?” I snapped.

Ivy smiled as the green-eyed twit yakked in sounds of ridiculous tone and length, punctuating it ever so often with the words “Joo-mey Joo-mey.”

“Listen, you little popperwot—if you don’t stop, your head’s gonna explode.”

The young fool mumbled something more, and then shot back into the tree, yapping all the way.

“You failed to mention the locals are savages,” I glared at Ivy.

“Silly, he said his name is Joomey, and he just wanted to,” Ivy bit her lip, “welcome you to Holloway Springs.”

“Joomey, eh?” I scratched my chin. “You sure he wasn’t looking for a bone to gnaw on?”

Ivy frowned, and then yanked me by the ear over to the tree. As we stepped into the shade, a chorus of whispers loomed over us.

“They’re waiting for us up above,” Ivy sighed. “Shall we, my prince?”

Did I have a choice? I guess I really didn’t want an answer.

Yet a Third Random Scene from S.E. Gordon's Harry Potter Parody

I know, my parents didn't raise me right, and my father dropped me on my head when I was young. The following is the third vile, utterly ruthless, random scene from the Harry Potter parody I'm working on entitled:

Hairy Pinga and How The Prisoner of My Anus Shoved The Sorcerer's Stones, A Goblin on Fire, and Half a Bloody Pint Up His Bunghole While in the Secret Chamber Passing Deadly Hollows with a Disorderly Phoenix

(whew!)

Character Key

Character	Equivalent
Harry Pinga	Harry Potter
Weaseldick Paisley	Ron Weasly
Hermaphrodites (aka Herpes)	Hermoine Granger
Syphilis Snake	Severus Snape

Chapter X: Syphilis

The black mage stalked the classroom.

"This is the dark arts workshop, but you can just call it shop," said Professor Syphilis Snake. "To succeed on this evil stage, you need at least a basic grasp of math. So class, what's 5 times 2? Anyone?"

"64?" a kid replied.

"Wrong!" Syphilis blasted the child to kingdom come. "Would anyone else like a crack at it? How about you, Mr. Pinga?"

"It's Hairy," he replied.

"I do not need to know if there's a jungle growing in your pants, Mr. Pinga, just answer the question."

Beads of sweat ran down Hairy's brow. "Well…"

"Ten." Hermaphrodites stood.

"I was not asking you, Herpes." Snake pointed his wand.

"I'm sorry, sir." She held her head. "It's just that Hairy used some sort of mind control to extract the answer."

"Is that so?" Syphilis raised an eyebrow. "One would think that if he were half that clever, he would be using his powers of persuasion to get in your pants. Hairy, since you could not craft an answer, why don't you tell the class the color of Hermaphrodites' underwear?"

"Oh, that's easy. White with purple poka-dots." He grinned.

"Hairy!" Her eyes filled with daggers.

"Alright, Hermaphrodites, now show the class your booty," said the professor.

"You're kidding, right? I'm not showing my underwear to anyone." She flicked her brown locks aside.

Syphilis Snake crossed his arms. "It's not like everyone hasn't seen that filthy cooch before." He raised his wand.

"Fine." She dropped her skirt. "See?"

The room gasped.

"Are those balls?" said Hairy.

"I think I saw one of those on Animal Planet," Weaseldick pointed.

"What's wrong with this picture?" Syphilis scratched his chin. "Did hapless Hairy vaporize your underwear?"

Hermaphrodites looked down in horror. Quickly she jacked up her skirt.

"It's a good thing you're 19," said the professor.

"No wonder she knows all the answers," Weaseldick whispered to Hairy.

"Hairy, even though you have the IQ of a half digested radish shit out the backend of a mule, I think you've got the right idea. This is an evil workshop, after all. Humiliation can be worse than death, and we must pride ourselves on dishing out the very best to our enemies. You live to see another day, Mr. Pinga." He shoved the wand down the front of his pants.

"It's Hairy," the aloof magician replied as the bell rang.

Syphilis loomed over him. "Do not tempt me to change my mind, jungle boy."

The Spawning

Dancing
Whirling
In the fire
I am the ember
Who does not tire
Across the cabin
Roof
Beds
My spark
Is contagious
Mine to spread

The prance
Continues
Into night
From afar
They join me
Muses of light
Radiant
Spinning
Wicked
Brash
The guests falter
Then turn to ash

And from dust
A crystal
Rises in wake
Mine to slumber
Yours to take