Without You - Chapter 12: Farewell

So where

Does that leave us

If we could change

One thing

Would it matter?

With someone else

Holding the cards

The odds

Were never

In our favor

They wanted us to fail

The world’s resources

Now invested

In the few

Never meant to be shared

Horded voraciously

Until the arrival

Of a new master

I guess there’s little

Left to say

I had hoped for better

We all did

But in reality

We’re not entitled to it

None of us are

Even the propagators

Of this plague

Are not exempt

Eventually

We will find you

Bury your skulls

In the barren sands

Though I evaded the worst of it

I find myself in need

Of a new liver

In the old world

I might have had a chance

But now

Impossible

I thought I was smart

Studied to be a doctor

For this very situation

Stored enough food

To last twenty years

Though I’ll only need two

My only regret

In all this

Was not staying behind

With those

That could not make it

My wife and son

Didn’t want to believe

Perhaps I’d been better off

If I hadn’t either

This is Avery West

Signing off

Farewell

My loved ones

Be seeing you soon

Moments pass

Still the words

Resonate

My thoughts slow

Murky at best

It takes a while

Before I realize

Avery’s voice

And my captor’s

Aren’t one in the same

Just another charlatan

Preying upon the weak

What happened to us?

Where did we lose our humanity?

What use is intellect

If it destroys oneself

Guess it’s the same now

As it’s always been

Devoid of compassion

We are among

The lowest creatures

In the universe

As I pull away

My elbow

Trips a button

On the switchboard

The word LIVE

Flashes on the orange LED

I stare at the microphone

Perhaps

I should turn it off

Again

Curiosity

Gets the best of me

Somewhere

He is out there

This might be

My best chance

My only chance

To reach him

I pull the microphone closer

A high-pitched squeal

Rings through my ears

So long

I’ve pondered

What to say

But nothing comes out

Finally the words

Burst from me

Trevor Renard

If you’re out there

I need you to know

That I love you

And you’re not alone

The words come out

Soft and smooth

Like a whisper

Long I have toiled

But not this time

As I reach across the switchboard

A voice answers

Leiland

Is that you?

Without You - Chapter 11: Shield

An end

To hunger

Poverty

Disease

Replaced

By the silver beacon

Of our nuclear arsenal

Shiny toys

Long forgotten

Slumbering

In their secret silos

While mankind

Found new ways

To destroy

The world over

The Shield

A promise

To protect us

From all

That disagreed

With our ideology

The National Missile Defense

The perfect cover

That solemn day

Fireworks exploded

Over every major city

And everything

In between

The Fourth of July?

No

The Fourth of March

Liberty

Of another kind

Took place

Freedom from obligation

To those

This country served

Missiles had been stopped

From China

Russia

Perhaps even

The Middle East

Though the sky bled

The populace breathed

A sigh of relief

If only an instant

Puzzled

By the lack of response

Angered

That our adversaries

Hadn’t been reduced to ashes

More baffling still

That the debris

Fell back on us

In clusters

Were these in fact

Instruments

Of our own design

The new agent

Was devised

To act quickly

Even The Chosen

Did not want to see

The ants crushed underfoot

Twitch slowly

Before expiring

But again

The effects

Had not been tested

Most that hadn’t

Inoculated themselves

Died quickly

And in a macabre twist

The new chemicals

Mixed with the vaccination

Triggered a ravenous response

Neighbor devoured neighbor

Brothers

Sisters

Alike

Hysteria ignited round the globe

The world watching helplessly

As the death clouds

Drew closer

New York was struck

By England

Before they realized

They were only hastening

Their own demise

The Chosen

Scattered into the horizon

Many pondered

Where this might be

A secret moon base

Mars

Perhaps farther still

Though there was nothing

To support this

Others surmised

The polar icecaps

Mountains of Tibet

Deserts

Rain forests

Nothing more than speculation

A dull tool

In a box of many

None

That could help escape

These blistering shackles

Without You - Chapter 10: Rise

Forty days and counting

All major broadcasts have stopped

Intentionally

Or not

I’m no longer sure

This will be

My final broadcast

For a while

It’s getting too dangerous

In these barren lands

Hope you hang in there

Keep fighting the good fight

Till your last breath

Despite everything we accomplished

Everything we stood for

This is our reality

I tried

And failed you

Wish I’d done more

So how did we get here?

Perhaps we should take a moment

To reflect

We might spot something

We didn’t before

It started in our fields

The heartland of America

A new breed

Impervious

To current pesticides

Blamed on genetic research

Of Chinese firms

They savaged our crops

Tainted our water supply

A well-designed scheme

To broom the masses

Towards a new vaccine

Always told

What to think and feel

Why would we behave

Any differently

We had no reason to suspect

That our government would deceive us

Like so many times before

Hoping to prevent

Genetic contamination

And frightful mutation

Scores took the RHYN4

Lines wrapped around

City blocks

Mall parking lots

A noose

They no sooner

Found around their necks

They hoped to inoculate themselves

Go about their daily lives

But it had not been thoroughly tested

A general malaise

Affected those

Who welcomed the poison

To their veins

And would stay with them

The rest of their days

As we soon discovered

The vaccine was laced

With a bevy of nanoparticles

Receptors meant to track

Their hosts

Suggest behavior

Store and transmit

All said and heard

Delve into memories

And insert new ones

But there was a problem

The nanoparticles multiplied

At an alarming rate

Pooling in cerebral tracts

Causing hallucinations

Memory loss

Permanent brain damage

Sending many

Down a degenerative spiral

And eventually

A comatose state

But it did not kill them

Nor was to blame

For their newfound hunger

This was but a glimpse

Of what was to come

The nanoparticles were behaving

Too much like the humans

That created them

Clustering together

Wreaking havoc

In the company of their peers

The particles needed to be disbanded

Realigned

Upgraded

So they perfected a process

To do this

But getting the masses

To the proper facilities

Proved a logistical nightmare

And they did not have the clout

Like weeks before

A new abomination

Amalgamation

Of the disease

And the cure

Materialized in the sewers

Tapping directly into the spine

Calibrating the living

And unintentionally

Raising the dead

No one knew

From whence it came

No one claimed responsibility

Not even the pioneers

Of Project Rafflesia

In the end

They agreed

Regulating the masses

Wasn’t worth the trouble

So they cleaned the slate

Started over

Giving waivers to The Chosen

To carry on our legacy

Live the privileged life

While the world around them crumbled

Only the tidy matter

Of revising history

Remained

I pause the recording

Take in the warm stale air

Unsure if my ears

Can bear any more

Curiosity propels me forward

And against better judgment

I continue on

Without You - Chapter 9: Designs

I dig through the shelves

At a murderous pace

If I’m in here

So must he

I tear apart each shelf

Dumping the contents

On the floor

Finally

Something I’m good at

Drops of blood

Dab the faded pictures

And I realize

That I’ve failed

To patch the wound

That led to my capture

Always been a slow bleeder

But a wound to the chest?

Even I’m not so talented

To quell the rivers

Flowing from me

I find a thread and needle

Dig out the bullet

With my fingers

It takes every ounce of focus I can muster

Somehow I manage

To sew myself shut

While the walls rattle around me

Hard to tell

How extensive the damage is

Surely I will feel it

In the coming days

The old man patched me up

To some extent

Before he lost his head

Leaving my wound exposed

Beckoning flies

And legions of fowl things

To lay their hatchlings

I dump the remainder

Onto the floor

Mountains of books and paper

Difficult to navigate

But I can barely walk anyways

No harm

No foul

I try to shake my disappointment

As I endure the last of the photos

He is not here after all

I will have to shoulder his memory

A while longer

In my heart

I sift through the files

A worthy distraction

Papers marked ‘Classified’

Awash in acronyms

I cannot comprehend

I stumble across early designs

At first I mistake them

For plans to dust crops

But what I hold are

The seeds of annihilation

Not thermonuclear designs

But small impact

Cluster bombs

Meant to carry

Living organisms

To sow the land

The very ones

Chewing these walls

The deeper I delve

The less I am aware

Of my plight

A series of internal memos confirm

They were not meant

For a common enemy

But the local populace

The liberties of the masses

Can be a nuisance

For the ambitions of the few

Collateral damage

Regrettable

But always deemed necessary

The mites transported the virus

That I am certain

The plague

No coincidence

But an evolution

Of our species

At least that was the idea

Sold at the highest levels

The desired outcome achieved

Their intent sparks my curiosity

For these creatures can tap

The nervous system

Reanimate cadavers

If they so desire

Like the poor fool

On the other side of the wall

All of us puppets

More than any of us imagined

I fear there is more to them

Than I care to know

I look around

Spot a microphone

And communications equipment

In the corner

And I realize

What this place really is

‘Tis not just a bunker

But a station

Meant to warn others

Of the impending holocaust

No doubt many died

For the files in my hands

And many more will perish

To get them back

Without You - Chapter 8: Hideaway

Insects ping

Against the walls

They want in

One and all

No ventilation

No risk of penetration

Locked

Inside this metal box

Please

Please

Let me be

Just go away

Go away

I say

Fluorescent lights

Cast a ruddy hue

Over this cramped space

Loaded guns beckon me

What’s the harm?

Contaminated

You are already

Take one

Pull the trigger

Truly there is nothing

Left to live for

Nothing

I say

But this

I hold up

The tiny orb

Stirring the ashes within

The castle sparkles

And quickly reels me in

Sadness fades

Ever a reminder

Always

There are better days

The banging on the door

Intensifies

Like popcorn

Electrified

A fist pounds

The titanium door

That wayward soul

Back for more

Joining their foolish plea

But you will not get in

Even if there is no air

Left to breathe

Steel shelves

Married to metal walls

Floor to ceiling

A perfect cage

Books overflow their partitions

Printouts held together

By rusty staples

Tucked into cracks

Wherever space allows

Yearning to reveal

Their secrets

Etched onto yellowed pulp

Though damaged

I can still comprehend

Their disdain

Perhaps they can shed light

On how we went astray

I grab a stack

Promptly drop them

To the floor

Like a child

Grabbing wet fish

Clumsy

Bumbling

It’s happening more and more

I lean over

Fall to my knees

It’s easier this way

I tell myself

My body does not move

As it should

In truth

I can barely feel a thing

Amusing

The pain you wish for

As it releases

Its grip from you

I scoop up a folder

Spill the contents inside

Dozens of pictures

Paper the floor

I paw at them

Brush them aside

Familiar faces all

Can it be

I know them

Or is it just another

Fading wart of memory

I stumble across one

I cannot mistake

Bringing chills

To this icy frame

I pick it up

Stare into her

My God

How is it

I was here

Without You - Chapter 7: Legions

Torn from my dreams

As our spirits touch

Cruel

Unfair

Dumped back into

This dirty stinking lair

Impossibly

The corpse rises

This bleak new world

Offers few surprises

He staggers

Knees wobble

Creeps along

With a hobble

Casting a long deep shadow
Over me

He paws at the cranium

On the floor

A sinuous shadow

Scatters inside

He scoops up his crown

Placing it aright

Turns to me

Blood running down his cheeks

Tears of knowledge

Now aware

How little resides

Over there

All along

Salvation but a mirage

An empty song

He ambles forward

Surely he cannot see at all

Driven by a hunger

I know

All too well

Mites scatter over

His scalded form

Needles for legs

Racing over

His mangled core

Hiding cleverly in his folds

Hellish parasites

Of the netherworld

He reaches out

Trembling fingers

Crooked jaw

His throat swells

As he opens his mouth

And one of the beasties

Slips on out

It clings fast

To his tongue

And then shoots out

As if from a gun

Hardly quick

I shift aside

Before it can prick

Or burrow inside

This fading flesh

As I rise

I feel another

Graze my side

I peel it off

Bite off its head

The blood is toxic

Good thing I’m dead

I limp away

They fall in droves

Pouring out

From the vents above

It’s a slow retreat

An escape

That can only be described

As bittersweet

With legions gaining

My energy waning

I reach for the metal door

And slam it shut

Darkness finding me

Once more

Tortured breaths

Escape me

Where are the moon

And stars?

Indeed this portal

Did not get me far

Someone please

Awake me

As my hand stumbles

Across a switch

I flip it over

And make a wish

Without You - Chapter 6: Keepsake

I hold the world

In the palm

Of my hand

Everything I hoped for

Everything I dreamed of

Bound

In this tiny piece of heaven

I shake the globe

Ivory flakes

Spin round and round

Before

I thought them snow

But snow I have not seen

Since The Departure

Only the frost of night

Comes and goes

Before the morning arrives

No longer

Will I mistake it

Such ethereal rain

‘Tis no more than ash

Swirling round

Silver and blue spires

A castle crafted

With fairy tales in mind

Such stories

Long forgotten

In the shadow

Of my past

Once upon a time

I spun my own stories

A princess lived there

I cannot deny

She was I

And though creatures

Of every shape and size

Tried to push their way inside

The shield protected her

From every intruder

And dark intention

Throughout the countryside

Suitors came and left

But no one could crack

The barrier

Around my heart

Till you arrived

The walls peel back

The veil above is stripped away

Stars spin around me

Crystals in a winter storm

Perhaps

They are not ashes at all

But shooting stars

I gaze into the globe once more

And I remember

The part of this

That is yours

You came for me

My love

But did not try

To pierce me

Instead you offered

Your home

Protected

By the same shell

‘Twas not bigger

Smaller still

A tiny cottage

In the woods

Holding the heart

I longed for

Deny myself

I could not

Any longer

Had I grown

Out of touch

Living in a castle

Made of silk and stone

‘Twas too much empty space

Not a whit of life

In its embrace

Came out of my shell did I

Traded yours for mine

Two fireflies

Intertwined

A humble nest

The best of times

I close my eyes

Hold you close

Though a castle

Not a cottage

Rests in my hands

It is the closest

I’ve felt you

In quite a while

And as I nod off

I begin to believe

There are dreams

Still worth dreaming

And a life

Still worth living