Saturday, July 2, 2011

Without You - Chapter 8: Hideaway

Insects ping
Against the walls
They want in
One and all
No ventilation
No risk of penetration
Inside this metal box

Let me be
Just go away
Go away
I say

Fluorescent lights
Cast a ruddy hue
Over this cramped space
Loaded guns beckon me
What’s the harm?
You are already
Take one
Pull the trigger
Truly there is nothing
Left to live for
I say
But this

I hold up
The tiny orb
Stirring the ashes within
The castle sparkles
And quickly reels me in
Sadness fades
Ever a reminder
There are better days

The banging on the door
Like popcorn
A fist pounds
The titanium door
That wayward soul
Back for more
Joining their foolish plea
But you will not get in
Even if there is no air
Left to breathe

Steel shelves
Married to metal walls
Floor to ceiling
A perfect cage
Books overflow their partitions
Printouts held together
By rusty staples
Tucked into cracks
Wherever space allows
Yearning to reveal
Their secrets
Etched onto yellowed pulp
Though damaged
I can still comprehend
Their disdain
Perhaps they can shed light
On how we went astray

I grab a stack
Promptly drop them
To the floor
Like a child
Grabbing wet fish
It’s happening more and more
I lean over
Fall to my knees
It’s easier this way
I tell myself
My body does not move
As it should
In truth
I can barely feel a thing
The pain you wish for
As it releases
Its grip from you

I scoop up a folder
Spill the contents inside
Dozens of pictures
Paper the floor
I paw at them
Brush them aside
Familiar faces all
Can it be
I know them
Or is it just another
Fading wart of memory

I stumble across one
I cannot mistake
Bringing chills
To this icy frame
I pick it up
Stare into her
My God
How is it
I was here

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